You walk into a crowded room and you notice each other. There is a magnetic attraction between you… its tangible and it pulsates through your entire being. Could this be love at first sight?
Many of us who are on the other side of 50, have had this accelerating experience before. In fact, I can recall quite a number of these electric moments in my life where I was sure that I found the one and felt love at first sight – the real deal. Its tongue in cheek that I share with you how I have also experienced love at first sight for my German Teacher. Well, I feel a lot less embarrassed if I consider that some evidence suggests that about 60 percent of people claim to have experienced it (Naumann, 2004).
The question remains, no matter how real it feels at the time, is it possible to instantly fall in love with someone and simply know that they are the one for you? This is not only a very romantic notion but also a huge plus in our “instant” world were things need to happen at the speed of light.
Based on a study conducted by Zsok, Haucke, De Wit, & Barelds, 2017, from the Netherlands, love at first sight does in fact exist and it is completely real to those experiencing it at the time. We need to, however, be very careful with our definition of what love at first sight means when considering its validity. Here are some of their further observations –
1. Love at first sight isn’t really love at all.
Although people report experiencing love at first sight, no intimacy, connection and various other elements that are key to a love relationship are present in those first few moments. In one of my following Blogs, I will share my definition of love with you, so look out for it. Based on the very nature of love, attraction at first sight is clearly possible but not love in its true form.
2. You’re more likely to feel love at first sight with beautiful people.
Well, surprise! This further strengthens my argument in favor of attraction. I can state with lots of scientific authority that I have never experienced so called love at first sight for someone who was extremely unattractive.
3. Love at first sight isn’t usually mutual.
I’m afraid, chances are very slim that my German teacher reciprocated my feelings. Studies show that these feelings were more often than not a one-sided phenomenon.
So, although research is clearly in favor of the romantics on this one, in that many people do report having experienced feelings of love at first sight, we know that this saying is a misnomer as love has so many more facets to it that remains unexplored in such an encounter. Attraction at first sight, for sure, and for some of us, lust at first sight is certainly also possible.
I’d love to hear from you. Please visit our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/mytherapysa and share your definition of love with us.
The Rational Therapist ®